I've been in & out of therapy for about 8 years now, I'm kind of an incurable case. I do know what you mean by holding onto painful memories..

My experience of late has been realizing that I need to "let go", not just of the memories, but of the emotional pain and damage that I feel as a result of them. I need to cry, kick, scream, push... and have someone be a solid rock for that.

Unfortunately you can't hit your therapist, but you could hit an inanimate object... eh, unfortunately that doesn't work for me. I guess something I've also realized is that some people are incapable of understanding those of us with problems. A guy I know thinks life is all about what you make it, you can "overcome" anything, you can change your life, you can just simply "be happy" if you want to. I say that's a load of crap, but those who haven't traveled such dark waters can't possibly understand the tides.

It's a shame, isn't it?