The situation sounds incredibly painful. Your therapist was trying to be empathic. However, it also sounds like you took a risk and showed him that you need him, that you are dependent upon him and those feelings fell through the cracks, for whatever reason. That is very fragile part of you that, I am guessing, you hide from everyone.
On the one hand, you are not ready to be more direct with your needs but doing so will result in your needs being met more frequently and they won't fall through the cracks like they did. It's a really difficult place to be in.
When you have lived a life of neglect, it's so hard is to put yourself out there and have your needs missed or dismissed. Do you think he is aware how hard it is for you to show that vulnerable part of you? Is he being sensitive to that vulnerability?
Sending hugs.
