Hi True North, you really know what this is like, don't you. This is HELL. I still don't know WHY he called the police, did you pull a gun on him/!!!!

This counsellor called my doctor and made him home visit, and then terminated with me when I had only been sobbing uncontrollably. sigh.

anyway, L.E's advice is good and backs up my own. I am hanging in there cos I can't bear not seeing her anymore but she is actually harming me, just look at the posts I have put on this site since early Sept. I have been going through hell.

Sounds like your T also had counter transference.

I am thinking of seeing this new private T this week and not telling the counsellor, so that I keep my options open. Just suss out the new T. The new T may not work as she is so far saying she only does 50 min sessions. Sigh.

I have felt to 'mentally ill" with the counsellor which no previous therapist ever said to me, they just sympathised with the amount of trauma and pain I have successfully processed and how much is still left.

I do think that I need to do ending focussed sessions as it is really hard leaving her, and I shall mourn her for a long while, mourning also what she could not be for me.

I am so sorry about your grief and pain and loss at what happened with your ex t. I get angry reading about what he did to you, he just needs some sharp words from a superior - he is and has behaved appallingly and he is trying to hide behind therapy stuff to get away with it.

I also disclosed something I have never talked about to this C the session before she sent me the email. I have very awful feelings about that. I try to convince myself that she was okay with that disclosure, she just was NOT okay with me sobbing OTT on the Friday. She stills says she did not panic, but she certainly over reacted big time. She terminated with me for heavens sake.

I need to get away from her with dignity. I really truly do.

I am worth more than this, I really am. It hurts though, it hurts.

I find your comments so helpful. I may even end with her very soon, like this week or next, it all depends on who I find and how quickly. I feel so patronised by her, like ' you are not okay but I am so okay' when that is not how I see it at all and not how L.E or my previous therapist of 22 years ago see it nor my friend who is also a counsellor nor anyone really whom I disclose any of this too. Most people are horrified at how inept she is. sigh.

I also had a spiritual teacher of mine on the phone today, saying "IT is all in the past, just drop all this pain, do not give it all so much attention'. and like it will all go away if I just choose to drop it?!