quote:

It is too easy to be re-traumatized with someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing. And as much as it feels like you may be wasting time, if you stick with her and continue to be retraumatized, not only are you not getting better, you’re adding to the pile of stuff you need to deal with, which again increases the amount of time spent in therapy.

yes, I am trying to remember this AG.

"So what I did get from the relationship was a stronger, wiser other that I could depend on to hear me and understand me, focus on only my needs, mirror to me an accurate picture of who I was, and to treat me as if I mattered until I could believe it. It’s the closest thing to unconditional love I think I’ve ever experienced on a human level. It became clear over the course of our relationship (it was a LONG uphill battle to believe) that no matter what I did or said or expressed, my T was there and I was cared for. "

this is what I was hoping for and what I meant by good reparenting, modelling these kind of feelings and being met etc, and I am not getting this with this C.

"The gentle part is realizing when these old messages rise up, that I can be compassionate with myself about them, because they make perfect sense based on what I experienced (something my T taught me over and over again). "

I like this and agree I feel the same, that I am coming to compassion for myself with my scars and with my past.

I am still working on finding another therapist and my therapist of 22 yrs ago is helping me.