I am really very sorry that you are experiencing all this pain with your C
. Your old T sounds like she really understands you and you seem to have a good relationship with her…is there any way that you could continue working with her at all? Sorry if you have already explained this and I have missed it.Your sessions with C sound like they are following in the same pattern of you expressing your hurt and feeling unheard and her saying she cares but she can’t offer you what you need. Each time you go and see her you are investing a little bit more of yourself, which in turn leaves you feeling more hurt and abandoned when it doesn’t work out…it sounds like the relationship is longer beneficial to your healing.
I know you are deeply attached to her which is why you want this to work so much...it's really hard stuff...but I do believe that you can work through the attachment you feel for her with a T who has more experience and an understanding of what it is like to feel attached – no it is not so simple as to deal with it in one session as your C says...it hurts sooo much
….I really feel she doesn’t understand at all and I am really feeling for you for not being understood. You deserve to be working with a T who is more experienced not only with attachment but also at being able to work with you at a deeper level to help you and your littles to work through all the trauma that you have so sadly experienced.I know a private T would cost a lot of money but they are also able to offer the kind of support that just isn’t available via the doctors and you have the choice of finding one who you feel is right for you and able to offer what you need. You will have much more control.
((((((Sheychen)))))) Sending you lots of hugs as you work through what would be best for you.
Butterfly