thank you for your respectful and considered reply, it is hard talking via a forum, it is something we could have sorted so easily if talking, but I sincerely appreciate your comments. and yes, I see that you are mulling things over for yourself too.
I did really well trying to repair this, but actually stayed in this fractured therapy space too long as my smallest vulnerable self did not want to believe that my c was really so negative.
I think this forum is great.
sometime I read posts too fast and reply from where I am which is not where someone else is, and I think that I get myself in trouble. But wwe are all trying to help each other. Have a good trip out of town. I shall keep posting as I have to find a therapist who CAN handle me and respect me. sigh.