quote:Then I phoned ANOTHER therapist today who said " I don't know how you think I can help you" after I had given a brief synopsis and then she said " I think you are attached to your pain and you feel more alive there, maybe you could let it go. You don't have to hold onto your pain."
That felt very judgemental and so I shall probably not even pay the £30 for the initial session with her.
I seem to be scaring them off so easily. I am frightened that another will run after I start to trust them, so best to get them out of the picture from the start if they cannot cope with strong stuff. Frowner
She asked me what I want and I said to know my problems, to be able to use my resources better to cope with the pain and also to absorb the love and care and kindness and solidity of another in a therapeutic relationship so that I can make that be inside of me and do it for myself and that care is important as I cannot seem to care enough for me right now.
Sheychen,
Wow, that must have stung. I think I would move on from that T as well. Seems she has an approach that wouldn't be helpful for you at all. If it were as simple as just "letting it go" none of us would be here and our T's would be out of a job.
Your paragraph describing what you want and need from therapy is all completely understandable and reasonable. It sounds like you want someone to be with you on this journey so that you don't have to be alone as you heal from your past. I also hear that you want to build more coping skills and learn how to care for yourself, but need someone to model those things for you. Again, totally reasonable and a good expectation from T in my opinion. I think you can find what you are looking for. I can only imagine how frustrating that search is, but keep looking until you find what you need and deserve. You are worth it!