Kats.. I think it's an excellent lettter that reveals a lot about you and your vulnerability. I am hoping that your T is wise enough to break that pattern you refer to and that you will come to realize that you do deserve good things in your life.

I cannot promise or predict what your T will do but I want to say that confessing transference feelings to a T is NOT an automatic termination. I think it becomes a negative issue when the transference causes the therapy to break down. When you stop doing the therapy. Also, holding in the feelings may prevent you from doing therapy as well. It becomes just another secret in your life.

My T was defensive and a little out of his depth but he did not terminate me, in fact, our relationship just went to a deeper level. Of course I was scared to death to tell him, as my past history tells me that when you admit you care for someone they leave or they distance themselves from you. And with my T being so important to me I was prepared for this very conclusion. Instead, he broke the pattern and so far so good. Of course, I am still frustrated by the boundaries and that I cannot be more to him than a patient... ever.

And, like you, I was prepared to get through it alone like I usually do. I have survived a lot and this would just be one more sad and difficult thing to put to rest. But instead, I found this wonderful community and although I didn't have to face termination with my T, I do have everyone here to help with other issues and I don't feel so alone.

TN