I'm not sure if that is even the right question for me to pose to get to what I am and have been experiencing my whole life. But as of now I am missing being in my T's presence. I feel sort of "helpless" (I can see her cringing now) in keeping myself occupied with anything else but dwelling on what I am lacking. I know that I suffered moderate neglect as an infant/child and I was often left to cry myself to sleep when my mother was too busy with the older children and unable to handle my needs. (not uncommon-right?) Could this be why I am so heavy-hearted that I have no motivation to do anything but mope when others lead at least semi-productive lives? (clean house, work, have a life?)I look around and I have plenty to do, but I can't. I feel locked down. WHY? What can I do to change it? How can I break this cycle? Why do I still feel this helpless after 2 1/2 yrs. of therapy?