Some times you just have to force yourself to do some things like: go to a park and take a walk
( keeping your safety in mind of course), sit and watch the animals; like squirrels, they are quite entertaining. Just do anything to get your mind off of it. I know it is damaging to me to dwell on this kind of stuff. I'm sure it is probably the same with you.
Read a book; I keep a bunch of trashy romance novels around.
Maybe you need to talk to another T to get you over this with her. Since she hasn't been able to do it.
You take care of yourself and if you need to talk, I am on here several times a day. Lorena