I know how you feel as I've felt quite obsessive about my therapist for a while now and have actually talked to him about it. I was shocked recently when I realized that I had actually gone a number of hours without thinking about him, I'm choosing to take that as a hopeful sign!
quote:Worst of all, she has no interest in anything further with me beyond being my therapist. It feels so unfair, excruciatingly painful, and debilitating.
S, there is something very important to understand about this. It's not a matter of her having any interest, it's about what's best for you. If she does not maintain those boundaries, then therapy can't happen. Please don't misunderstand me, I know how painful, infuritating and frustrating the boundaries can be (just read a sampling of my posts) and it's incredibly painful dealing with these feelings. But I also know from my experience and reading that the boundaries are there for your protection. A therapist who really cares about you takes care to maintain them. There's a post I wrote awhile back about boundaries that might help:
Boundaries, I finally think I get 'em
It's important to remember, if only for your peace of mind, that the withholding done by the therapist isn't a sign of cruelty or indifference, it's actually evidence of their deep care for you, a care that puts aside all of their own needs in the relationship to help you heal. I'm really glad that you have a therapist who is open to hearing you about these feelings and is staying with you through them.
AG