Sounds like an anxiety attack. I'm so sorry that you have had to experience this pain. Once you get over the hump of today, it may be easier to let go, because the fact that it's done puts a type of closure on it.
I'm sure it hurts when you think about writing him, and then think that he didn't really want to hear how you feel, anyway. The only thing I can think is that he's quite ill or that his illness scared him so much that he can't connect with his clients right now or that his wife is ill. I hope that by this point you don't take it personally, because you can be guaranteed that it's not about you.
It must be extra difficult to have your T gone at this time, too. Are you going to continue seeing her?
I'm glad good things have been happening for you.
catgirl