Ok, after a few hours of stewing and re-directing my energy to shoveling dirt around my flower garden, I re-read my post re-examining each line, each thought, and each expression that my T made. Taking into consideration what I know about her.

I still believe she should have apologized. Consequently, maybe if she had I would not have experienced the depth of my feelings. And I am not prepared to experience them alone. But I do see some… (It’s ok, say it…) l-l-logic?? (Still hard for me to reason here, but I owe that to myself.) She clearly stated that she did not mean those words that way. So she made her stand on her intentions, but still allowed me to experience what was behind my current feelings and not allowing the real issues to be subverted through an apology. (a deserved apology at that.)

I DO want her to care about me in every way. Whether she does or doesn’t I want to imagine and believe that she does. Her saying “I don’t care…” made me feel that she doesn’t really care at all and then I want to shrink into obscurity and cry myself to sleep. But that is not what she was implying. (I say reluctantly) That is where I went with it.

I want to tell her PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, don’t hate me for what comes up. Don’t get frustrated with me for where this goes time and time again. Remember where this comes from. Promise me that you won’t reject me.

Sorry, I know this is not supposed to be a blog, but I could not help but to relate where I am now. I wonder how my session will go tomorrow.

Still would love more input from anyone out there.

Thanks!

Could it be that the woman is really that brilliant?? Or am I just assuming she knew what she was doing?