Shrinklady,

Thanks for that clarification on disclosure and counter transference. Sometimes that can be a little confusing. Knowing my T and the circumstances and feelings involved I am more inclined to believe that it was proper disclosure on her part. She always has a way of relating to me that way. And it works.

Thank you too for responding yesterday. I am sure that it was obvious how worked up and in pain I was. It helped so much to be able to talk to every one about this and not be left to deal with my fears all alone. (That is a huge trauma for me). I will be seeing my T in just a few hours and I will drop a line on how it goes. I hope that she meets this with warmth and understanding. I really need that from her right now. I hope a little bird lets her know that before I arrive.

A lot of things surfaced as a result of this event. The good part is that it helps to reach the depth of these issues and traumas as we work this out, which is what she always promises we will do.

And despite the huge stressor this created for me, I did not take a drink. Before I would have started drinking before noon and not given my feelings opportunity to be heard and sufficiently worked out. Instead I would have drowned my sorrows in alcohol.

So while I would choose not to have another day like yesterday, I will at least try to make the best of it from here on in.

Thank you again for all your thoughts. It was a great help.