I am really aware of this. I look out the window and know all the wires in his office very well. Every knick knack and book too. I recently asked where a certain, beautiful Italian "mask" he had displayed disappeared to. He said it's in his home and has been gone nine months. "You are looking at me more instead of over there". When I'm silent and looking around I cannot stand him looking at me and I can tell he tries very hard not to look at me. When I look at him and he does not see me, I love examining his face. A few times I've see this amazingly gentle, loving look in his eyes as he listened to me speak. I've never known that feeling and it was real. I think eye contant may have to do with how connected we are at a given time. The shame aspect is real too.