BIM,
It is not unusual at all for people who have been abuse to wonder why. The problem is that there is really no way to answer that question, so letting it go often helps you to heal faster. But there is nothing wrong with asking.

As far as what your T said, I've written a blog post that may provide you with an answer of sorts (you can see if you feel like it "fits").

Accepting the "not so pretty" parts

One more thing though, while I believe it is our responsibility to change ourselves (we're the only person we can change) that does NOT mean that there is not room to recognize what happened to us and express our feelings about it: the grief, the rage, the pain, the sorrow or anything else we feel about it. I do not see that as avoiding anything; I see it as finally allowing ourselves to face something that would have overwhelmed us when it happened. Hope this helps.

AG