My personal preference is for someone slightly older, but this is becoming less important as I get older too. but I wouldn't dismiss a younger T if I felt a connection and sensed from our first few sessions that we'd be able to work together.

I'm interested in what people think 'maturity' and 'life experience' is? How is it acquired? What makes life experience valuable in the counselling setting?

In the UK at least counselling is rarely a first profession. People entering training tend to be all ages so it's not always straight forward to equate age with counselling experience. I do tend to check out people's years of training on their websites. More often than not though I'd select someone based on talking with them about what I need - and asking specific questions about those things. If in a first session someone with a lot of experience wasn't able to make any intuitive leaps about some of the things I think are important in a counselling relationship, then I'd probably not continue.

I guess for me it's more about personal fit. Age, gender, marital status, probably play a part in all of that but I am not sure I am 100% sure of how that all interacts.

I guess what I'm saying is what you think you want isn't always the only thing that would work for you. BUT, and this is a huge but, what you want matters hugely, so if a young T is not ok (I just couldn't face a male T) then you don't have to go there. I think the most important thing here is that you are feeling coerced and that's not ever the best way to start a therapeutic relationship. You don't have to see either of them if its not what to want

I think Pengs is right. There is no right or wrong way to make a decision on whether you want to see someone. I decided on female T this time for lots of reasons when a man could have worked out okay and it was my right to make that decision for me. I've never had a female T long-term so it's been really useful. You don't have to be 'fair' to younger T if you don't want to see them. It's personal choice and you're allowed to make decisions based on what you want rather than what you think you 'should' do.

I too am pulling yuk faces over the mother figure thing, SB. But it's certainly a truth for me that I have been working out maternal transference issues with current T and I think that factors into who I am drawn to.