Thanks for your advice and your compassion, it does help. I've been writing some stuff down. I also made an appointment to see the other T tomorrow morning, hoping it will help clear up a little of my confusion.
Hi Echo,
Thanks, I totally agree that I can't expect him to change his shirt. What I really wanted was to open up the subject of transference again. But then I got stuck on his "What do we do about it?" question. I don't have the answer to that, I said. He said he doesn't, either.
I went back and reread your other posts. I'm sorry about the way your therapy ended. Is there any chance for you to work out what happened with a new T?
Hi True North,
Thanks for the e-hugs & encouragement
And I love your quote (well, Eleanor's, really) about gaining strength, courage, and confidence every time you stop and look fear in the face. That's exactly what we're doing in therapy, isn't it? You know, fear really kind of ticks me off sometimes. I don't just want to stop and look at it; I want to grab it, shake it, and yell "What do you want, already?" I don't want to be afraid of anything! Now if I could just stop melting into a puddle of tears whenever I'm challenged by someone I've grown to care about...it is so aggravating. But the harder I try to stop it, the worse it gets. I think this is evidence of attachment injury, which is why I want so much to work through it. Again, I hate being afraid.
Anyway...sometimes I wonder how many times my T has helped someone through this before me. I never really asked him, but I will next time. Thanks for explaining the attachment theory stuff, and you are right, I do have attachment injuries from childhood, which my T knows about. I will bring this up with the other T tomorrow. If nothing else, maybe it WOULD be better to switch to another T so I don't have to keep worrying about being transferred. I can still work through and learn from the issues with someone else, now that they've been triggered, right?
Thanks again everyone,
SG