Thank you for all the very emphatic encouragement
. I don't really want to quit but I've just been looking at the last year and a half, thinking, how much longer till it starts to get better? Yes, there are other places to go. You can bet I'm going to do some pretty thorough research, and interviewing, before I get invested in another therapist. I would much rather work through these feelings I'm having, than try to stuff them away. Yuck.
I read somewhere (I think it was Dr. Robert's, have you heard of it?) that good therapy has to somehow "recreate" the trauma first, although this isn't popular with patients. Then, of course, the idea is to help them learn to accept, cope, grieve, whatever they have to do. I had told my T several times, I didn't expect him to gratify me or return my feelings, but what I was really afraid of was abandonment. Now, this could be me just wanting to put him up on the pedestal again, but...is he doing this on purpose? Knowing there will be someone else to help me through the next part of it?
I guess it doesn't really matter...whether he "engineered" this or not, working through the rest of it will teach me something, but it's got me wondering.
SG