I'm also a sex abuse survivor, and I've found that a lot of my erotic feelings overflow into close, caring relationships. With my T, there's very much an innocent, child-like part of me that wants to be cradled and rocked by him; there's another part that would like to engage in some more, uh, adult forms of affection. Then there's a third part that's perfectly content with our relationship as it is - and, for me, this indicates the greater reality of how I truly feel. The other stuff is my brain trying to work out some really complex dynamics that involve my past experiences.
In short, it's possible to experience parental and erotic transference at the same time. And just because you're experiencing one doesn't mean the other one isn't lurking in the background somewhere waiting for its turn to come up. It's different for everybody.
Working through the power imbalance and accepting that your T cannot care for you in the way you would like is REALLY tough stuff, and it takes time. Just keep processing it and talking about it. You'll get there.
