Hello Sea, welcome to the forum. Everyone has already told you the best thing to do is to talk to your T and that is absolutely right. For whatever reason your T has for doing and saying what she does should be discussed as should the impact it has on you.

If I may say, the feelings her actions provoke may have little if anything to do with you being gay. So I just don’t want you to confuse your experiences with any feelings that are being triggered in therapy. FYI: I am not gay, yet I, as you may have already read, have experienced homo-erotic feelings for my T and they represent much more than what the content of my feelings/fantasies would suggest.

If I may, I’d like to share with you a recent discussion I had with my T on why my homo-erotic transference has recently been triggered again. She rightfully and immediately went into exploring what she may have said or did to unintentionally trigger it. Even though it is not intentional she explained that sometimes sharing too much personal information with a client can be boundary seduction, leaving the client feeling special and desiring more information. In the case of calling and checking on a client that too can arouse feelings of being special as can comments on our appearance and personality. Your T may not be aware of how these things make you feel and you definitely need to bring this to her attention and not feel badly about it. However, these feelings are tied very deeply into what you need to be working on and your T needs to be on board with that and aware of what your triggers are.

Good luck!

JM