Okay, all. I have an update. I did take everything you said into account. I also visited a very good friend of mine yesterday and she said my "demeanor" was much different than it has ever been. What is wrong? Well, in the midst of more crying, I told her that I had been out of my night time meds that I take in order to sleep (this was during the Labor Day Weekend--couldn't contact pdoc) and I had substituted another medication in order for me to sleep. So, the morning of my appointment, I had yet another anti-anxiety med ontop of the one I just took before I went to sleep and then I went to my 9 a.m. session. I think the doses of medication significantly effected my personality. My good friend, who has a counseling background, helped me sort this out. She suggested I contact my T, maybe give him a phone call. I stay away from phone calls because I usually do a better job with the written word, verses verbal chatter. So...I went ahead and e-mailed him to tell him that I have reflected on my actions and I think I know what contributed to them. I admitted I couldn't remember a whole lot of the session, only parts, but I did remember feeling sad, shameful and worthless. I asked if my Thursday time slot was still available because I would like to discuss this with him. Then I signed it, Nothing but respect, LJB.

He e-mailed me back and said "Absolutely. See you next Thursday. Let's discuss then." Needless to say, I feel much better about this whole incident. Although it won't be easy trying to explain everything to him, I'm sure he will understand. I think that man deserves a medal.

Thank you all for all of your replies. This forum is one of a kind.

Best,
LJB