Hi, Anton. Welcome to the forum!

ET is practically the bane of my existence. I'm 31 and working with a male T who is 64. I've been in therapy for about 7 months. From the beginning, we've had a great connection. We have lots of similar interests and share an artistic bent. We're able to communicate on an intuitive level that doesn't happen in many other relationships. He clearly enjoys treating me, and I enjoy being around him.

I don't know if my T is more open with me than other clients. (It wouldn't surprise me either way.) However, he has made it absolutely clear that he does not desire me sexually and that absolutely nothing will happen between us. Even outside socializing is off the table. This is for my safety and healing. And because I respect him and the healing process, I respect his boundaries by refraining from any enticing behaviors.

I've realized that, due to my past trauma, I'd probably experience ET with any therapist I chose to see. It's just amplified in this case by a genuine, warm connection. I am unable at this time to separate admiration from desire. It's a work in process, and very painful at times. I've experienced ET so strong and obsessive that it's nearly caused panic attacks. This isn't about how attractive my T is. This is about how wounded I am.

There have been times I have thought I should walk away because the feelings were too intense. But then I realized that my T is safe and willing to help me work through this. Here's a good rule of thumb: if you're trying to seduce your T and can't approach ET from a healing perspective, it may be time to find someone else. But if you can own that these are your feelings and recognize that they are coming from a wounded place (and you have a safe T), then you should stay and work through it.

Good luck.