Hi Jones, you are so right about there being "a lot of pain". Aside from losing loved ones suddenly and pets, this is the most painful emotional thing i've ever been thru. Wasn't expecting it, wasn't prepared, and i am also chronically ill and rather weak and badly fatigued with a stressed nervous system. So it has been hell.

I've read a number of accounts of T and client getting together and the ensuing horrors. I imagine in at least some cases this *can* work out, and we just don't hear about those cases. I mean if two ppl are truly in love then that can trump everything else.

My T has been quite good about the whole thing. I think she shared a few details about herself only becuz we had a good rapport and it was in the natural flow of things. MOstly this is a fantasy in my head. Boundaries are in tact but i do plan to see if she will clarify more what exactly she has been thinking. Trying to see how honest she has been. Nothing is going to happen, even tho part of me wants it badly.

Yes i was also considering finding a male therapist to see for a while. Good suggestion.

I do disagree about the "absolute illusion" thing. Clearly a client only gets a partial view of a T, and it can be quite a narrow one. And there can be a dangerous level of idealization that happens. But sitting in an intimate little room, talking about intense feelings, forming a real bond… you can get a pretty good feel for another human being that way after 4-5 months. I may not know her likes and dislikes and her bad habits, but when there is chemistry, one just knows it.

I don't accept psych theory as a blanket explanation for anything, and esp not human emotions. No possible way ET explains the entirety of my feelings. People are WAY more complex than that.

thanks
anton