Gosh that must be confusing. Sure does seem like a maternal attachment from what you say. Yea i think acceptance is the key. Really seems like you might be able to work thru something important but what do i know.
My situation seems so different by contrast. I can see precisely what it is about my T that attracts me to her and it all makes perfect sense. No confusion at all, only longing and sadness, plus a little bliss in btwn.