Hi Anton,

It's not unusual for some Ts to cry with their clients; it's a sign of very deep empathy and care.

My T also shares info about himself--when it is appropriate and relevant to an issue I'm working through. Like you, I see some self-disclosure as good for strengthening the emotional connection.

What has me and the others on the board concerned is your T treating you as special (disclosing more to you than others) and then admitting it. The fact that she may have some sort of romantic attraction to you is (mostly) irrelevant; what's of concern is how she is handling it. Allowing someone to rummage through the deepest parts of your psyche can be very healing, but without boundaries it's outright dangerous. That may be why you feel so unsettled in her presence; she's not holding the kind of boundaries you need to feel totally safe.

This isn't an issue of trying to force your experience into a box of psychobabble. There are things Ts are clearly not supposed to do--as outlined by a board of professional ethics.

- A T should never discuss personal problems/issues with a client.

- A T should never ask a client for personal or professional advice.

- A T should never invite, encourage or initiate a romantic relationship with a client.

- A T should never say things like, "If things were different, we could...hang out/date/go to dinner/etc."

Make no mistake: the relationship you have with your T is unique, special and meaningful. I don't believe strong therapeutic connections can be contrived.

However, your T is a paid professional and, like a medical doctor, has a legal and ethical obligation to do no harm. Feeding your infatuation, allowing you believe that you could have a life with her beyond therapy, is extremely harmful. Unless she stops her behavior and sets clear boundaries, this will only end in pain.