What you wrote struck a chord with me. I felt very similar feelings with my former T. We spent a lot of time on her needs over the years. I sometimes felt I was trying to be her therapist. She told me I could call her, but wouldn't give me rules on when and how frequent. Then, she would tell me about places she hangs out at and about when, so just in case I ran into her we could chat. I have run into her a lot in our small community and after that she would remind me of boundaries in so many words. One time I did ask her specifically her boundaries and she told me that it was only chit chat if I ran into her and it was nothing more than that.
After 2.5 years of many great and not-so-great memories and sessions, I left and got a new T. My relationship with new T is definitely a professional business relationship with boundaries and no temptations or leading me to believe otherwise.
I wish you all the best with this situation. I understand your heart and your head being torn. At times I still long to go back to former T (my heart). My mind tells me that I need a different kind of therapy.
Oddly enough I might end up working in the same building as former T does though. strange.
My well wishes to you, Blue!
