Thank you for your responses! GG I have an amazing poker face. Not sure if it's helpful though in my therapy session. I have never even cried in front of my husband and we have been married over 15 years so I am not sure I could cry in front of therapist ever!

Pengs I am not sure where the feelings should come from. I had a session this week and I was extremely angry. I let T know I was angry and about the situation I was angry about but when he asked why this made me angry I couldn't answer. So then I started thinking I shouldn't be angry so then the shame started. I didn't tell him I was feeling shame though because it would have just made it worse.

He tried to tell me anger was ok and appropriate in that case but it was to late. This has been a major roadblock for me. If you ask me why I feel that way I immediately decide I shouldn't and why would I think that was ok to feel that way. But it is all in my head if you were looking at me you would never tell.

I want to be able to release those but I guess i think if I do I won't ever stop! Maybe I do need to keep working on building the trust. If I ever expressed why something was upsetting or angered me I was immediately belittled and told I wasn't allow to feel that. I guess I am so afraid he will do the same thing!

Does any of that make sense!?