Hi Liese,

I found this really interesting! Thank you for sharing. Where did you find this? (if you're okay sharing).

I dont' find myself offended often, but like most people I certainly get there at times where I'm holding on to something. I've done that before with my T in particular so reading about this was able to help me retroactively look at how I was testing her/our relationship with some things. Mostly to do with protecting myself and my assumptions about how other people will probably treat me badly because my parents did (example 3, 8, 9).

This is also a good message on how to relate more openly. Just in speaking about my relationship with T since I have worked at not being as touchy with her (and as unaccepting of her imperfections or mistake), it has improved our relationship so much for me to assume her intent is toward love and kindness rather than to hurt or manipulate.

When I do things that are listed here the image I hold of her and our relationship is a lot stronger. Before, we'd have relational failures just about every 2-3 sessions because of my fear now they are farther and fewer between and the issues have a lot less to do with feeling offended and a lot more to do with working to understand meaning and not push her away (I feel like being offended was a way to push her away... for me to be angry so I didn't have to be close).

Anyway, I know this isn't just about therapy but I could really apply it to my T relationship!