I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I have been flat on my back for 4 days with a nasty stomach virus and haven't been able to lift my head off the pillow (except to run to the bathroom). I'm finally out of the woods and able to sit upright.
When I started to look at this stuff, it was mainly in reference to how often I got offended by my mother. It could be, on the one hand, that my mother is an offensive woman - as my T says. But on the other, why such a strong reaction from me? As I'm learning to validate myself, I still see her the same way but "I" am less involved in what it means for me when she says what she says and I'm able to stand back a little more and be objective.
I love that you related it to your therapist. I hadn't thought of that. But now that you mention it, I used to get offended by my T all the time. I used to think he was trying to humiliate me. Well, we all know that he was a bit unenlightened about this trauma and attachment stuff. But his intentions weren't bad and they certainly weren't to humiliate me. I guess as I've gained a stronger sense of self and of being good, I might feel a bit stung but I don't feel the same sense of humiliation.
Glad you liked the info. I really like the 10 steps too. I do get confused about being "too big to take offense" and standing up for myself. I'm going to have to do a lot of work in that area.
Any thoughts on how to differentiate?