There were some good points in this excerpt, but some I had to take with a grain of salt.

In the case of expressing an opinion, for example, whether or not Fox News presents unbiased truth, yes, I would agree with all the points listed above. But people that DO say offensive things, as opposed to expressing an opinion, (for the flip side read Verbal Abuse by Patricia Evans) do so because they cannot differentiate between the real, separate person they are interacting with and their "dream person"/projection.

I find it more useful to simply say "Can you please repeat that?" or "what did you mean by that?"

Also, keep in mind, that a person who tries to define another person, tell them what their motives are, what to think, or what to feel, is participating in a fundamental invasion of boundaries. (verbal abuse) Many therapists have wounded egos and will unconsciously engage in this behavior. (Fortunately I have talked to another T who recognizes this)

Just because a person feels like they are saying something for someone else's "own good" doesn't mean that they are speaking the "Truth" ..nor does the other person need to listen. The reason for this is that there are many unaware people in the world who make a daily habit of projecting their own stuff onto others. Simply allowing this behavior to repeat has not worked for me in the past, but yes, knowing when to let something slide (which I do a lot) and when to say "enough" ON THE SPOT, IN THE PRESENT MOMENT is a good skill to have. Does the book address this?

Everyone is allowed to have an opinion, but if it is unsolicited or someone trying to impose their own "truth" on me, I will kindly, from this point on, give it back. "What did you say?" This gives the unaware person an opportunity to clarify their communication, if it was knee-jerk, unaware, or sloppy. If they persist, I say: "Really? That seems to be about YOU, not me, I don't want your commentary, you can have it back". Have a nice day.

Having said that, I don't waste my time interacting where these unaware types generally hang out.. FB rants are a good example. But in real life, often it is entirely appropriate to say NO, or call someone out on their words, in an appropriate manner.

This works both ways.. as a result, I have vowed to become more responsible for what comes out of my own mouth. Am I defining others? Invading a boundary? Telling others what they should think or feel, or what their motives are? If I do, and I am called on it, I will take responsibility for it.

A person's word IS important. I'm not a big fan of the general trend of avoiding responsibility for one's word, and putting it entirely on the other.

And thanks for providing a different perspective for me, as well.

PS: BTW it is a classic abuse pattern to drop a bomb on someone (say something you KNOW is offensive) followed by the phrase "you are too sensitive" if a protest is given. From my own personal experience, letting behavior slide like this has given the other person permission to continue the abuse. When I call someone on it, "What did you just say?" I am treated with more respect, not less.