quote:What my T did is shifted that whole paradigm, instead of reassuring me that he wouldn't hurt me, he asked me to think about how i would cope if he did. It had never occurred to me before that i could possibly cope, my entire existence was around avoiding and it led to the most glorious discovery of strength and resources inside me. So the answer was not so much in how i dealt with the outside event or person, or even what happened, but what i did with it on the inside, it is a very important difference.
This is a very important difference indeed and does take practice like you mentioned. And I don't think that T's can promise to never hurt us because it happens anyway but learning to talk about it with them when it happens can make all the difference.