quote:

I think i'm going to try talking to her with my eyes closed. It probably sounds stupid but it's like when you're a kid and you close your eyes and you think because you can't see anyone, they can't see you. Sometimes when I talk to her I feel like she sees right down into my core and it scares me. So if i can try to be vulnerable just talking without eye contact, maybe that's a starting point.

LTF,
I had to pick myself up off the floor I was laughing so hard when I read this. I swear to you that for the first year and a half with my T I never made eye contact. I've spent countless sessions curled in a ball with my hands over my hand sobbing when I'm trying to talk about this stuff. I consider a session really good if I manage to keep my eyes open and my glasses on for the whole thing. I'm doing it more and more as I've become less scared of experiencing my emotions and more trusting of my Ts reactions. Its also helped because being able to take in my Ts reactions has really helped. A good friend really encouraged me to try and keep my eyes open more often and so did my T. I could lose track sometimes of where I was when my eyes were closed. But that's how I did a lot of my deep work. Just wanted to let you know that I totally get why you would want to close your eyes. And it doesn't sound stupid to me at all.

AG