Russ, I SO wish I knew about this option during the summer when for those six weeks oldT and I were really in a stalemate and nothing was being accomplished except that we were both so emotional and struggling that we could not find our way out of it. It really breaks my heart to know that perhaps having an outside consultant come in to help us may have saved the relationship. It really meant so much to me and I worked SO hard and it was so difficult at times for me and I was finally moving forward in those last months before the impasse and then I just lost everything... my therapist who I was so attached to, my therapy which I worked so hard for, my son's therapist, my son's group therapy and maybe even his summer therapy camp (not sure about that one yet). I lost my home, I lost the dog I loved, the safe place, and the ability to trust. I would have definitely called on someone else to help us if I knew it was allowed and there were people who do this.

Yes, she does speak mostly in terms of transference and how something she calls the primal wounds in each of us can cause the impasse. If client and therapist share the same wounds and the T has not resolved their stuff it does get in the way of their objectivity. Instead of keeping one foot in your world and one foot in theirs they end up enmeshed or in some reenactment of their or your past.

I had to put the book down for awhile because it was getting so hard to keep reading it and seeing in print what happened to me. I may pick it up again at some point.

Things are going pretty well with newT. I had some awful flashbacks last week and then got really scared that he was going to leave me too and I beeped him. He was very responsive and put my mind at ease about things. I think I was starting to feel somewhat closer to him and it scared the heck out of me.... still does. I need to talk to him about this on Tuesday.

Hope you are hanging in there too.

TN