Hi everyone,

Nice to see you back Butterfly Warrior.

Just to add my thoughts to this discussion...one of the things I'm trying to raise awareness about how we perceive therapy is that there is a more effective way to change our behaviours than is traditionally thought and it has enormous benefits beyond what people normally go to therapy for e.g. anxiety and depression. But it's hard to describe briefly in words...

I suspect many people think of going to therapy this way: they will discuss their problems and then the therapist will make suggestions about what to do to change them. Then they will have to do their darndest to change the offensive behaviour with the support of a therapist--which is often helpful.

This certainly is a part of therapy. And, the benefit I see with this aspect of therapy is that you can become more aware of problems areas. However, changing those behaviours...in a way that's integrated and embodied is a different matter.

Because this kind of thinking suggests that once I become aware (with or without the therapist's help) if I read a lot of books and really understand what healthy behaviours look like, and I apply real effort, I can change myself...in effect...I don't need therapy (or another significant relationship). However, the way the brain is functions it isn't that simple.

So many people think they can just apply their will to change their problem behaviours. And it's generally perceived that people who can't change this way are weak. We know from neuroscience that it isn't that simple.

There's something else going on in therapy that is more effective in changing behaviours or feelings about oneself. We learn best by experience and in the moment. It isn't so much about becoming aware of our problem behaviours and trying to change them, it's about having an experience that changes the brain.

This is why I emphasize the therapeutic relationship and also somatic therapy. They allow you to have an experience.

So back to why I go to therapy. I go so that I can experience myself differently, in a more expanded way, freer, more creative. I've mentioned this before, but I could never have been so public as I am with this website if I hadn't had the somatic therapy I had...not to mention the help of a couple very fine therapists. (I remember when I first posted live on the net...I was so tied up in knots.)

Just curious, does this make sense to you guys?
Suzanne