"My hypothesis is that the processing that I did activated it so it's much more surface level than it used to be thus repeating the stories now is much more emotionally scary because Im much more connected to it than I used to be"

You also have a new therapist right? it always takes a while to trust someone. Perhaps you aren't ready for that big of a step? Perhaps it doesn't yet seem safe enough for you? Our T has the view that each time you deal with a memory, you have new feelings, new thoughts, and perhaps new ways of looking at it. Maybe the memory is going deeper for you?

Also, I think our body has a way of betraying us! It remembers and responds before our 'head' does. Therefore, you may not sense a trigger for a memory 'in your head'. Make sense?

Glad you are keeping safe. We have another friend in California who we are worried about... need to try to contact her.

- Antoni (I'm with Dude)