Hi, I've been lurking for a few weeks and really appreciate the site. I have to keep my left brain happy in order to let my right brain function and all the information on the site has been a great help. This thread really hit because of both the topic of processing sessions and how we experience change.
Butterfly Warrior, I often have a great deal of trouble remembering sessions beyond general emotional impressions, I think because of my level of activation. When my emotions are really intense I have a lot of problems taking anything in. So it was a relief to read your post and realize I'm not the only one. The most effective thing I've found is to do a journal entry as soon as possible about the session where I don't so much write down feelings as write down as much as I can remember aobut what got said and what happened. Helps to read it later when I am processing. Hope that helps.
I really sympathize with the new therapist thing. I've been in therapy on and off for over 20 years (can you say long term?) and my therapist of 18 years retired two years ago. It was a really significant loss which took me awhile to work through. But I've been making incredible progress with my new therapist and have gained a level of trust I find pretty suprising. Hang in there, but be patient with yourself. It takes time, and should, to build trust with a new therapist.
Which leads me to the discussion of the therapy experience. I'm dealing with a background of both physical and sexual abuse by my father. I didn't remember the sexual abuse until in my 30s when I was triggered by having children. My first therapist was a woman ('cause who would ever trust men?) but I ended up going to a male therapist after she retired. Which turned out to be a really good thing. We've been doing really significant work in the area of attachment and its taken me a while but I've learned that the only way to make it better is not understanding it but to experience over and over the fact that I can go to my therapist and seek out attachment and not have it be a bad thing. These experiences are in effect "rewiring" my brain so that I can convince all of me that moving toward relationship is a good thing. I was really blessed by finding an amazing therapist who really gets this and has been there in an amazing way. So Shrinklady, I absolutely get what you're talking about now, but that understanding came after a great deal of work and confusion! Sorry I went on so long, its good to have somewhere to say this where people will understand.