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Reply to "Shall we engage?"

Hi DeepDive,

Welcome to the forums. Smiler

I don't think you're wrong to feel bothered by this. Feelings aren't wrong - they are there to help us understand what's going on inside. We all long to be validated, especially when progress is made in what is a very difficult process of healing and change. Validation is a huge part of being engaged in a dependent relationship and so I can totally see why this bothers you.

How would you feel about bringing it up with your T? I can just imagine how scary that is, but I would imagine a caring T would want to know if something was bothering you.

My T used to use a phrase and for months it bothered me. Whenever he would say it I would feel like I was wasting his time. Finally, one day I found the courage to tell him how it made me feel. He apologized several times because he knew he said that phrase often and didn't realize how painful it was for me. He said it's my job to inform him when he's being ignorant and saying things that bother me. It was a such a relief not only to tell him, but for him to finally stop saying it. Smiler

I hope you can find a way to let him know how important it is to you to be validated the next time you make progress.


PassionFruit
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