emerald,
First I am glad you came here to be among friends who realize how heartbreaking this must be for you! How long before your T has to leave?

Although I have not actually had to face losing a T, sometimes during this kind of distress I find it helpful to talk through it until I can't talk anymore and I finally collapse and go to bed and deal with it some more later. Taking it in as small of chunks as possible and talking it through is the best rememdy I find. This is a good place to do that. Tell us whatever you feel like sharing and we will listen.

(((((emerald)))))

Keep posting!