One big hug coming up
I am so sorry you feel so confused, what a horrible time for you. All those feelings are overwhelming and I can relate to them myself. Logic left brain wrestling with emotional right brain and right brain always wins. I often ask myself why I can't allow logic left brain to win, even sometimes.
May be helpful or may be not, I live near London in the UK.
I think you should email her again and just concentrate on the appointment, that is asking to arrange a date and time and ask her to get back to you confirming this. She probably has been away over the bank holiday or had friends to visit or something really normal. I hope you hear from her soon so you can relax and look forward to seeing her again. Perhaps you could talk to her about how this has made you feel and then another time when you are away or she is away, she will know how it affects you.
Another hug for you About
Caroola x