I'm really sorry, even contemplating leaving such a long term relationship has to be extremely difficult but it may be that you need something else now. I am really glad to hear that you paying attention and recognizing that you need more right now, that it is important to achieve some stability. So I know it must be so painful. But I don't think it will break you, I can hear the strength coming through in your posts.
Thank you for keeping us posted, I really want to know how you're doing.
AG