(((AFFINITY)))It is understandable why you are so confused and afraid right now. I've been going through a lot of these same feelings with my T, and I would skip sessions a month or more at a time because I was afraid to trust him and to become more attached to him as you are. Like you, I figured its easier to get over the attachment now then later. But our T's really do represent and give what we need fulfilled and never received. Please don't be humiliated because you need these things, your T is the one who can give it to you. I'm going through this as well, and it is very hard, and it does make for very confusing mixed feelings. I feel embarrassed at times, but I'm beginning to understand that I would not feel this way but my inner child needs this nurturing, and my adult figure at times takes over and fights to make me not want to trust and to feel embarrassed. You have to know that you are important, and you deserve to give yourself the opportunity to heal. To do this you need to keep going in the positive direction that you are, and fight hard to allow yourself to trust your T and "trust-in" your T and what he is doing to help you. He's sound wonderful and so in-tune to your needs, just let it happen, because you are "worth it".