(((Affinity))) You know what I'm going to say right? You need to talk to your T about what he said on the phone. One of the things I most definitely learned about myself in therapy (both individual and marital) was how often I assumed what the other person is feeling or thinking, without ever checking in. If this bothered you enough that you still cannot speak of it, that is indicative of a very deep wound, more than likely not one of your T's making, but evoked by his wording. And I would bet a large sum of money he did not mean it the way you heard it. Therapy provides us a safe way to look at these reactions and why we are having them.

I think this is really important because it is interfering in your therapy and your ability to use your T as a resource. I know the shame feels like it will kill you, please trust me I know. But unfortunately, it doesn't actually kill you. But I will tell you in all the times I have gone to my T with a deep sense of shame (which seriously I have lost track of at this point), unfailingly I have felt better.

Not sure if you've ever read this particular post but it might help: The Paradox of Shame - Part I (and sorry, there is a part 2 )

The only way through shame is to speak of it. What a sucky system, but its the only one we have.

I hope the session, though hard, leaves you in a better place.

AG