quote:

How do you know if your attraction to your t is transference or not?

That’s a good question SimplyMe.

The fact that it did occur in a therapeutic setting would give a strong indication as to that it is transference. But on the other hand transference is not just something we experience in professional relationships therefore its role in many of our relationships cannot be overlooked.

For instance, we may experience transference for friends, spouses, teachers, boss, and other authority figures, just to name a few. The role of transference is that it identifies us or connects us to someone in our present through our past experiences. If someone fits the pattern we have come to know from our past experiences then they may take on transference like role in our lives which is completely normal and even scientific. (Limbic Attractors)

In therapy however we cannot know enough personal information about our T’s to provide these connections and we have to rely on projected information that we gain. Transference based on very little information is strictly transference, but the emotions are very real and the relationships DOES in fact become very real too, but within its boundaries. Once it is taken outside those boundaries it becomes prone to all the added conflicts of every other relationship we’ve ever experienced, and possibly worse.

Hmm..Sorry for the long winded reply to a seemingly simple question, but it IS a really good question.

One suggestion is that you might enjoy reading the book “A General Theory of Love” by Thomas Lewis. There just happens to be a post on that on forum too.

JM