Please do not worry that you're talking too much, that's what we're here for. And I know you feel confused and overwhelmed but you're dealing with this great. It's really difficult to have your T send you to someone else, but I agree with everyone else. I really believe that he cares for you and what's best for you so he's sending you to someone that he thinks will be more effective in helping you but he's also doing it without dissappearing from your life.
And you're impulse to take care of yourself, instead of punishing yourself for something that was not your fault, is a good one. Go with it, you deserve to be taken good care of.
And for what it's worth, my husband and I had been married for 21 years when we started marital counseling with my T and I thought we had a snowball's chance in a pizza oven to actually pulling through. I thought it was over and was just giving it one last shot so I could leave with a clear conscience. And things are so much better now that I'm really glad that I was able to stick it out. So there's hope.
AG