Thanks gals. I wasn’t sure how it would be accepted. I was worried that it might be too self exposing for others to relate to or that it was in such essay form that I came off trying to teach everyone. I really just wanted to share because I find my own understanding in relating my experience.

I also think that we don’t have to experience erotic transference to get stuck in transference. But the mature subject matter certainly makes for an easy distraction. Oi vey!

As for the sense of belonging I agree that it does play into transference in every sense of the word. Maybe I’m stretching it, but I love to analyze things to death. So I was thinking when we were little we had no control over what happened to us. But in our search for belonging I think there is also a natural need for us to find a sense of equality, so as adults we want to play out the relationship on our terms and our fantasies, no matter what they are, provide opportunity for us to do this. On one hand, I want to be my T’s friend. On the other hand, there is a primal need to be taken care of, so at other times I want her to be my mother. That is one reason why I think that transference can sometimes be so confusing.

There is a reason that TRANSFERENCE is the most read and replied topic on the forum. To anyone out there…You ARE normal!