It is good to hear from you again, though I wish you were feeling better.
I know it can seem confusing sometimes to switch from a romantic or sexual fantasy, to wanting to be raised and nurtured by him. (Something we’ve sort of played out in the relationships we’ve chosen throughout our lives in one way or another.) I’m guessing that you’re probably feeling stuck because Dr. X does not have the ability to work you though your feelings the way that a T does. So I hope that you can learn to express your feelings to your T and she will make you feel as good as Dr. X and you will find acceptance and complete attunement with her too.
I apologize if my remarks seem blunt or striking the air, but I can’t really tell. I am hinging between feeling some very intense emotions and a little dissociation so I am kind of out of it lately.
I am trying to keep up with everything going on here, but I am having a real hard time with that too, so I tend to be more quiet when I lose my ability for expression. But I wanted to make some reply. 
JM