(I love the name and the poem. Very fitting for the topic at hand I think
) I haven't experience erotic transference for my T but do have very strong feelings for her and I of course envy anyone who gets to spend more than 45min a week with her. I think about her a lot and wonder what her life is like. Anything that she says or does that feels like even the slightest rejection sends me into a complete tailspin. I have also experienced strong positive transference feelings for other women that I have worked for or have learned from. The feelings are very powerful, torturous, and confusing. They are real and they won't be denied. Over the last few months since I have talked to my T about it and have talked to others here I have been able to own my transference and know that though the feelings are real they are also not what they seem. It is my past intruding in on my present and it happens to everyone all of the time. The intensity of the therapeutic relationship is especially fertile ground for transference to happen.
Some therapists welcome it and know how to handle it and others don't. We have had people on these boards with both kinds. It seems the therapists who have experience & training in using transference do a much better job handling it. That is one question I would ask your T: "Have you successfully dealt with transference before?" If not, then get him and yourself educated about it. The therapist must know what boundaries to put in place and how to keep them there firmly so that you will not get hurt. The T must also know how to deal with their own transference issues and hopefully is or has been in therapy themselves. This is another good question to ask.
So, in order to not write a novella here about all of this I want to refer you to two great websites that talk about transference, countertransference and erotic transference. I have found these along with Shrinklady's info on the topic to be extremely helpful. There is information in these articles that you are unlikely to get directly from your T so reading up on it at least helps clear up some of the confusion. Here are the links:
Transference & Countertransference: A Common Sense Perspective
About erotic transference - #1 - Falling in love with the therapist
About erotic transference - #2 - Acting on erotic transference/ countertransference
Transference - by our own Shrinklady