Hi Emerald,
I wanted to say hi and welcome to the forums! I can certainly relate to how your feeling. I worked with my first therapist for a lot of years on and off and I went through a stage with her where I very intensely longed for her to be my mother. As I worked it through I came to realize that I saw in her qualities I would have loved for my mom to have had, but she didn't. It helped to recognize and mourn my losses.

Our relationships with our Ts are so close and intimate that they often stir up our feelings surrounding our unmet needs. This is where the work of therapy often gets done. It's healthy that your are wanting connection with her. And I understand your fear of discussing your feelings with her, but how you're feeling really isn't uncommon and it could really be helpful to discuss how you're feeling with her.

JM, very wisely, suggested reading Shrinklady's transference page. There's also a lot of good info in the transference threads Upate on Transference and reading from the beginning of this one.

We're glad you found this place and you introduced yourself. Let me echo JM, that we hope you feel free to share any feelings you want to talk about and ask any questions you want to.

AG