Hey everyone, Charlotte here with some issues at hand this week. First I would like to thank Russ for sharing his session. it opened up a new view to some things I have been tossing around.I have therapy every Tuesday with Ms. T...(for those of you that don't know me, I have transference feelings for my old Mr. T...but he referred me to the new woman in his office so he could work with me from the sidelines...she discusses all our sessions with him and he does not see me...he speaks in the office but that is the extent...I really fell hard when he told me he couldn't work with me anymore...i just about went over the edge...He is a great doctor...and so kind and gentle) but alot of support came from this site...especially Just Me & Attachment Girl...who have great words of wisdom BTW...listen carefully when the tell you anything....but anyway all that to say this; I thought I was doing really good the last few weeks...back on course...not dwelling on Mr. T...somewhat dieting, exercising, and getting it together...then BAM!! Problem #1; My husband and I have been having problems for the last year (which started this whole mess with Mr. T) ..Well NYear's night, we were intimate. At least I thought I was, he was somewhere else...it was almost a chore it seemed for him...I got so uptight, I couldn't sleep or eat...and haven't done either since then...and now Mr. T is in my every thought and activity...I have called his office several times after hours just to hear his voice...I have my new Ms. T's personal cell #, but I refuse to call it..WHY???...I called her last time something like this happened, and she calmed me right down...but this time, I don't want her to call and let her calm me down...I want to be in this situation....It is getting the best of me...I'm tired, I'm ill, I have a killer headache...and I just don't give a ____!!...Somebody out there tell me what I need to do...I can't seem to do it on my own...they are both Psych-neurologist's that have been helping me with some brain injury issues.... Now Problem # 2; (it never ends!) Mr. T referred me to a regular shrink for medication purposes, etc...I'll call him Mr. T2...Well at our 1st visit last week...Mr. T2 tells me that transference is not an uncommon problem you all know that story....and that Mr. T did the most professional thing possible by referring me to a female T. to help him...yadayadayada. then after listening to me..he tells m that he thinks this stems from when I was 2 years old and my biological mom left us standing on the front porch with my dad (4 girls; 2,4,6,7 yrs old) for alcohol and pills...and that I had been carrying around this feeling of abandonment towards her my whole life...okay I thought it was about me and my husband's problems...so now i'm confused?? well that wasn't good enough...My biological mom calls me and ask's can she spend the night at my house the Friday after Christmas...we always have our Christmas with my sisters and her the Saturday afterwards...She has never spent the night with me...hardly been to my house in the 30 years i been married...and doesn't even acknowledge my children's birthdays...etc...she was an alcholic and had a nervous breakdown when she left us...well, she came...it was so weird..I had alot of resentment towards her...but was it legit or just because Mr. T2 suggested it??...I really tried to make it special for her because she had never done this before...she is 78 and can't drive he distance...celebrate...and drive back the same day like she usually does...it's too much for her...but she has always stayed somewhere else at a cousins or something...Why now...I am afraid she might be dying...it was so weird...but I was so glad when she was headed back to her home..(2 hours away)...I literally laid down that Saturday evening about 6:00pm...and could not even focus...or eat...or hardly get to the bathroom and back...and I did not get up out of the bed until Monday!!!!...and I SLEPT THE ENTIRE TIME!!! I never sleep more than 4 hours a night...if that much...I'm sorry I wrote you all a book...but I am stressing my brain into a Coma...I have cleaned every closet in my house...took all the pictures down washed the walls...packed up all the stuff i could take to goodwill...consignments..took back returnsfrom Christmas...shopped until i dropped...(then I take it all back the next day)...I am ready to go back to work Monday...not really ..good news though...I've lost 10.5 pounds since Christmas day...Help me out guys.
Thanks, Charlotte